Hello, my name is Anny and I am a lazy person. It took me all day to begin writing this story. But I bet plenty of you out there are just as lazy as me. And since life is so hectic, here are 7 lazy things I know we all do, and an explanation from my lazy place of expertise. This is our lazy safe space for all of us.
7. Delay Going to the Bathroom
When you have gotta go,,,,, you have gotta go. But when you have gotta go, and it’s a cold winter night, and you have just put on your favorite pair of pajamas and matching socks, and you have just curled up underneath the covers of your extra warm bed.. one might take pause, you wonder if you really gotta go, or if it’s just gas (no it’s not just gas). And you finally make a deal with yourself that you’ll go after you scroll through your entire Facebook/instragram feed. This is why I have bladder issues.
6. Washing the Dishes
Imagine you have just come home from a long, back-breaking day of work or you have just woken up from an hour nap. Either way, you are probably hungry and the last thing you want to do is wash dishes. It will make your hands trim, it will take away valuable eating time, and it will involve effort. That’s why I have left my apartment to go buy plastic utensils and have eaten crackers from the bottom of my purse for dinner. Don’t judge me.
5. Sleep in Your Makeup
This one might be one of the foulest, because it has almost prompt consequences. You wake up with your eyelashes fixed to your forehead, your blush on your pillow and shame on your heart. But what’s even worse is you perhaps have a huge zit on your face too. We’re all told that not washing your makeup off at the end of the day is awful for your skin, but I have just tolerated a long night of looking cute in this contour. Now you expect me to wipe my makeup off with a rainy wipe and wash it off in the sink? I’m only human.
4. Skip Work and Sleep
I bet you were imagining me to put hitting the snooze button on this list – that’s child’s play. A real lazy bone will call in to work and lie about having car trouble so they can sleep lengthier, or even if they don’t have to show up at all. And let me tell you, the only thing sweeter than sleeping in is sleeping in knowing that you don’t have to exist in the world for nearly on condition that you are supposed to.
3. Take a Bird Bath
I would like to blame this on being in a rush, but that haste was most likely produced by sleeping in longer than I should have and deciding last minute that I will really go to that event after all. So then you grab a wash cloth or the unused wet wipe you were supposed to use for your makeup and scrub the significant parts of your body, expecting no one notices that you still smell like last night’s lasagna…
2. Don’t Bother to do Anything with Your Appearance
True, I have just washed my makeup from the night before, haven’t showered, just febreze’d my clothes and ate a month-old Danish, so do you think I’m going to even run a comb through my hair? It may actually salvage my appearance, but no. Certainly, who cares about tempting to beauty standards? You’re a natural beauty! Use that extra time to reflect to how awesome you are, Or to sleep.
1. Make Lunch or Coffee
So you have lastly made it out of the house. You look dreadful, but you are out. After the trauma that you have been through, I’m not going to even theoretically propose that you take the time to make your lunch or coffee. Yes this would save you a lot of cash, but going to Starbucks in the morning or to a food truck midday has become a part of your routine. You have playful banter with the barista, and even met a cute guy while waiting for your cheese enclosed whatsoever to be ready at lunch. And isn’t that what life is actually about? Meeting new people, having practices, and racking up at least $500 worth of lunch and Coffee Bean bills in one month?